Tuesday, September 23, 2008

A Lady of All Ladies

My Grandma....oh goodness...my Grandma.
My Grandma...probably like a lot of yours grew up working the farm.
While today she is a "well kept" lady ....she had quite an up-bringing....the lady could do some hard labor.

My grandmother loves to garden...she buys more plants and flowers than she can ever get in the ground.
Over the years has encountered many a "critter" while working in her yard.
I recall several stories of snakes....she will chop them in half in a hot minute.

Once a possum was getting in her fish pond...she hit it over the head with a hoe and toted it by the tail down to throw it in the woods....she tells the story as .... she didn't quite kill it and all the way to the woods it was trying to bite her thigh.....she had to really keep it at an arm's length.

Then there was the time she stepped in a hole up to her "crotch". The lady pulled herself out....a feat I am not sure I could muster.

I cant help but smile and sometimes chuckle at Grandma's adventures.

The latest one occurred just last week. Here is the account.

April...did I tell you about getting bit by the snake??
I was down at my mulch pile and as I scooped a shovel full I looked down by my foot and there was this snake...not a black snake....all coiled up ...tight...fixing to bite my leg.
I hit it with the rake....(hahaha of course she did....I am running....Grandma is whacking)
It didn't even stun it....and it crawled back in the mulch pile.
So I stood there thinking....Oh Lord....What am I going to do?
(I know what I would do)
So I looked around...and there behind me was a baby one....so I killed it (Oh Grandma)

I didn't see the big one anymore so I kept filling my buckets with mulch...I filled all 6 and loaded them on my trailer.

When I got up to the flower bed I started putting out the mulch....I was smoothing it out with my rake....well....in the third bucket full....there he was....he was in the mulch.
Well...he got woven in the forks of the rake.....so I grabbed my hoe and hit him....over and over.
I thought he was dead...so I put him in a bucket....well he crawled out twice...so I got him out and beat him some more...( did my Grandma just say beat him?....is this the same lady who changes purses each day and they must match her shoes?)

So I put him in a taller bucket...and showed him to Grandpa when he got home.....he said it was a Copperhead......I was so thankful he didn't bite me....(well I guess so, being a Copperhead and all)

OK...she was telling me this story in my office of the company she and my Grandpa own...so I walked her downstairs.....as she was leaving....we made a stop by Grandpa's office...he was shooting the breeze with one of our favorite salesmen...so we stopped to chat.

A few weeks ago my Grandparents home had a power surge and a lot of their appliances and such were damaged....she was telling the salesman about the phone company coming out to check on something and telling her she would have to move her TV and her dining room table so they could get to a certain area where some wiring was. Ok...again...Grandma's words.

I am not moving any furniture.....I am 79 years old...I don't move furniture....He said...well mam...we cant touch your furniture...you will have to move it...I said...I am not moving any furniture (You go Grandma).....I am calling my husband and you can talk to him...but you are in the wrong place if you think I am moving any furniture....I am a lady of all ladies....I don't move furniture !!!

?????????????????

I looked at Ed, the salesman "No...but she will chop up a snake and tote a possum by the tail down to the woods" I said.

Cue the stories....I tip-toed out and left Ed and Grandma......hang on Ed this will be quite a ride...with a lady of all ladies.

Love ya Grandma......hoping to be half as tough as you when I grow up.

have a happy day
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3 comments:

Sara said...

Omgosh! Your grandma sounds quite incredible! I love that " I am a lady of all ladies" classic!!

carissa... brown eyed fox said...

what a lady... lady of all ladies to be exact!

she sounds like something else!

i can not believe that was a copperhead... yikes... no match for her though!

Holly said...

LOVE this post, April. Your grandmother sounds incredible. How very blessed you are to have her in your life. xoxoxoxo